The Reality of My Sometimes Messy Life

I just returned from a long weekend away at Kripalu.  If you are not familiar with it, it is a center for yoga and health in Lenox, MA.  It’s a magical place in the Berkshires that I journey to every summer to unplug, rest, ground myself, connect with nature, learn a little and come away feeling recharged and refreshed.  

This trip couldn’t have come at a better time. I have been in a bit of a chaotic swirl as of late and I wanted to let you in a bit on the reality of my life.  

Not just what my pics on Instagram show.

Not just the content I have shared about what I have overcome and what I have learned along the way.

Not just the good stuff (which yes, there is PLENTY of)

These days, we are constantly bombarded by highlight reels of people's lives, messages of how people got over their issues…

“Just follow these steps” and your life should feel...

Calmer
Easier
More tidy
More grounded

I too, share such steps or tools in my content.  Teaching self care is a big part of my work. It was a pivotal piece in my healing from Lyme.

Some people assume that I “have it all together” and my days are full of yoga, endless bliss + green juices.  

Those closest to me know that this is not always the case.  Because I am a Health + Lifestyle Coach promoting all things healthy for the mind, body and spirit and preach about how self-care has changed my life. There is a belief that I always have my shit together.

Just because this is what I do for my work, it does not mean that everything is always easy for me.  That I always eat the perfect balance of food, that I always know how to take care of myself, that I am always grounded, calm and peaceful. It doesn’t mean that my house is always clean, that I am always nice to my husband and kids.  

HELL NO.  

What I do know is that I am moving through this messy beautiful life with as much self compassion, grace and resilience as possible.  

It means that I expect the highs and lows and I ride the waves welcoming whatever phase I am in without judgement.  

Again, not always easy.

It also means that I really allow myself to feel, even during the crappiest of times. Not to ignore or push away, but feel.

Truth be told, this is still a bit challenging for me.  As I was once of the queen of just pushing things down, hoping whatever it was would just disappear.    

In those times when the self-doubt comes in, the fear, when I am feeling really low.  This is when I allow.  I allow myself to feel all of it. Sometimes it hurts like hell. But I know that I  can navigate these waters without drowning.  

It means that I stay devoted to my hopes and dreams and fight for them.

It means that I celebrate myself.

It means I choose me over + over again.  In all my glory and in all my crap.  I choose to love myself even when I am at my worst and I don’t feel selfish doing it.  

It means that I give attention + space to all parts of myself.

It means that I will continue to go after what I want, no matter how scary.  

I could go on, but I think you get the point.

My life is messy, just like yours probably is at times.  

As I continue to do this work, life doesn’t easier. I just get better at riding the waves. I know myself better. I’ve become braver and more loving.

I mess up, I try again.

Sometimes, I get caught in the swirl.  I figure it out, usually with a TON of help from my people.  

I put myself out there, take chances, not always knowing what I am doing.

There are times when I beat myself up about something.  I find my way back.

This is what my life is really like.  

It feels good to know that I can navigate this ever changing, sometimes messy life with grace, resilience, pride and of course a good dose of self love.