The Power of Saying No


“No is golden. No is the power the good witch wields”

~Cheryl Strayed

Can I get a hell yes?!  Thank you, Ms. Cheryl Strayed for your wise words.

Why is it so hard to say no? For children, no is the most powerful word in the Universe.  Anyone with kiddos knows what I am talking about! Though as we grow older, it becomes a word that leaves many feeling guilty for saying it.

I think we can all attest to the fact that we have said yes to things in our lives that we really do not want to do.  Why is that? Why do we say yes to things we don’t want to do?  Is it the fear of what people will think?  Fear of disappointing someone?  Is it our attempt to please others?

These are important questions.  What are you really saying yes to? And do these endless yeses lead to a build-up of possible resentment and exhaustion?

This is a topic I have not only dug into in my own life, it is one I learned from so much that I carry it over into the work I do with women.

I used to be the queen of saying yes.  Always saying yes to pretty much everything that was asked of me.  If I am being honest, when I look back, I really didn’t want to do all of those things.  I said yes, because I felt it was what I “should” do, maybe because everyone else was doing it and, “what would people think if I said no?” 

Here is the thing.  Saying yes, when you really want to say no drains you.  It zaps your energy and can leave you feeling a little cranky, maybe even a little pissy because you are doing something you don’t want to do!  Why do we do this to ourselves?

It was only until I got sick in 2014, and was literally forced to stop, that I started saying no.  At first, of course, I tried to maintain my ‘yes’ routine but quickly discovered that it wasn’t serving me, or my health and well-being.

I was looking for anything I could do to help myself heal.  On the list...I started saying no.  It was pretty awkward at first, really uncomfortable.  I was for so long the ‘yes girl.’ 

WOW!  Who knew how good it would feel to say no?!  Saying no to things you don’t want to do opens you up to so much more.  To things and opportunities that you may not have realized even existed.  Or simply, it opens you up to having free time.  What you do with that time is your choice.  You get to choose what you do with your time. Isn’t that a novel idea? ;)

If saying no is a new concept to you, then like any new habit you are incorporating into your life, it will take time.  It will take practice. The more you do it, the more it will become clear to you what in fact is a hell yes and what is a hell no!

There is so much power to saying no.  For me, it has been super freeing and empowering.  Saying no is indeed an act of self-care.  And if you know me and are familiar with my work, radical self-care is a non-negotiable.

What can you start saying no to in your life?  Get ready friends, you are going to find it opens you up to so much more!